Are you an average Jeaux?

Their motto is “your inner monolog, but make it pop”

If you want to start trouble, sing along with “Average Jeaux” as you saunter through Park Slope (or Parkville Market). Snapping your fingers to the beat will keep your hands ready to block punches.

The Other Realm is back with a peppy, finger-snapping alternative-pop song about the kind of hyper-hipster dude who’s so mindlessly on-trend that he’s a walking Buzzfeed listicle. “But why do I want a song about the kind of guy I’m trying to avoid?” you wail.

  • It slaps while it snarks.
  • You can entertain yourself by spotting which of these things you do yourself, regardless of gender. I say this as I nibble my artisanal chorizo made from local pigs who probably got massaged with pro-biotic yogurt. I’m not drinking it with craft IPA because it’s before lunch, but I could because I have some.
  • You can experiment whether the Cups routine will work to the beat.
  • There are (possible) Easter eggs! Is the harmonica part meant as a genuine touch of authenticity or as an ironic simulacrum of authenticity? Does irony mean anything anymore?
  • It fits brilliantly into playlists organized around “manipulate – mansplain – malewife,” thus being memetically on-trend while it mocks being memetically on-trend.
  • It’s equally good for generating fan-fic, bar fights, and earnest essays that reference Jean Baudrillard.

Most important, name-dropping “Kenny and Billie Ward” as the indie band members that the hipster at the next bar stool hasn’t heard of means the exact kind of guy depicted in this song will listen to it. The worm Ouroboros puts in ear buds and chokes on its own laughter.

Is “Average Jeaux” a gender-flip of Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me”? Yes and no, with a side order of artisanal maybe. There are insinuations that someone should be turning down the shallow player hipster for a more authentic guy. But our hipster isn’t the captain of the football team. His putative shallowness is expressed not by working to be exceptional in a popular way, but by making a fetish of affiliating with “unpopular” things that are actually widely popular.

[Editor’s note: Here, the writer got bogged down in postmodern literary analysis and needs to drink single-source fair-trade coffee to settle down. Just check out the song and be thankful to be spared the Breakfast Club reference that was in the pipeline.]

Disclaimer: I got an early listen to this song in exchange for a fair and honest review.

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